Many of us have felt the strong urge to make others happy, even if it means neglecting our own well-being. This tendency, called people-pleasing, can cause anxiety, stress, and a sense of losing ourselves. Once you recognize people-pleasing in yourself, you want to find ways of overcoming it. It’s not an easy process to let go of people-pleasing but anxiety therapy can help. The more you learn about yourself and the reasons for people pleasing, the better able you are to move forward without them.
The root cause of people-pleasing
To overcome people-pleasing anxiety, it's important to understand why it happens in the first place. Take a moment to think about how you were raised, the culture you grew up in, and the experiences you've had. These things may have influenced you to always seek approval from others, even if it means neglecting your own needs. By understanding these influences, you can start figuring out the patterns that contribute to your anxiety and work towards changing them.
Use Self-awareness
Developing self-awareness is important for overcoming people-pleasing anxiety. Take some time to think about what you truly want, what values are important to you, and what boundaries you need to set. Pay attention to your emotions and notice when you start feeling the need to make others happy even if it hurts you. By understanding what triggers these feelings and how you respond emotionally, you can start making choices that reflect your true self and prioritize your well-being.
Develop self-compassion
Self-compassion is the practice of being kind to yourself as you work on your goals. It’s not about giving yourself excuses or enabling bad behavior. Self-compassion is about taking care of yourself as you work through overcoming people-pleasing anxiety. Working through people-pleasing is really hard. It might be a new experience to put yourself first and establish healthy boundaries. Treat yourself kindly and understand that you deserve love and respect, no matter what others think.
Practice Assertiveness
Assertiveness is a powerful skill that can help break the cycle of people-pleasing. It may feel foreign to you when you have used people-pleasing to cope with your anxiousness. Start by practicing clear and honest communication. Learn to express your needs, desires, and opinions in a respectful manner. You might be afraid of rejection or disapproval in the beginning and that’s ok. You have the right to your own thoughts, feelings, and boundaries. It’s ok to have opinions and for those to be heard by others.
Set Realistic Expectations:
Recognize that you cannot please everyone all the time, and it’s not your job to do so. People are responsible for their own emotions just as you are responsible for managing your anxiety. Accept that you have limits and you are better able to show up in your relationships by taking care of yourself. Shift your focus from needing validation from others. Embrace the fact that your worth does not depend on pleasing others.It is not realistic to believe your purpose on this earth is to make everyone else happy at your own expense.
Surround Yourself with Supportive People:
You deserve to be in relationships with people that will respect your boundaries and needs. Seek out relationships where your opinions and needs will be honored and heard. Surround yourself with people who support you. Having a strong support system can provide the encouragement you need to challenge your people pleasing.
Overcoming people-pleasing anxiety will take time, and it will be uncomfortable. It involves thinking more about your own needs, being kind to yourself, and knowing your mental health matters. By understanding how anxiety contributes to your people-pleasing, learning to share your own opinions and needs, and practicing saying no, you can break free from the cycle of people-pleasing and be your true self. Remember, you deserve to live a life that is fulfilling.
Anxiety Therapy in Utah to overcome people-pleasing anxiety
Anxiety Therapy in Utah is here to help you overcome the anxiety that comes from always trying to please others. Together, we will explore why you feel this way and learn how to stop it. In our safe and supportive sessions, we'll talk about your feelings, thoughts, and beliefs. I will guide you in understanding yourself better and figuring out what you need.
How to start working with an anxiety therapist in Utah
Are you ready to reclaim your life from the grips of anxiety and people-pleasing? Anxiety Therapy can help. This Utah Counseling Clinic has an anxiety therapist that can help. To begin anxiety therapy follow the steps below:
Meet with a therapist for anxiety
Start letting go of people-pleasing