I’m going to let you in on a little secret: all of what I’m about to share are triggering statements to the people you love who struggle with their relationship with food. You have no idea who you are sitting with that is struggling with how they feel about themselves and their body. The statements that I’m about to share have come up in eating disorder group therapy many times that cause frustration and anxiety. Our language is so powerful, and we can use it in positive ways to be kind, uplifting, and compassionate. We can also use it to perpetuate negative messaging and instill the importance of our bodies being the most valuable.
My goal in sharing these things is to help you understand the impact of your language and your messaging. When we know better, we can respond better. Hopefully, you’ll give yourself grace for what you’ve said unknowingly.
Statements I will never say as an eating disorder therapist
There are plenty of things not to say because it can impact the people around us. Things are some of the things I know to never say because of the own work I have done and because of the eating disorder clients I work with.
“You’ve lost weight! You look so good!”
I won’t comment on anyone’s body whether they’ve lost weight, gained weight, or maintained weight. Your body shape and size are the least interesting things about you. I never want to place value on a person’s body size. I have no idea how someone has lost weight. Many people lose weight because they are sick or engaging in disordered eating behaviors. Commenting on weight loss perpetuates the importance of losing weight or changing a person’s body size. When you tell someone they look good because they’ve lost weight, this unknowingly tells someone they didn’t look good before.
“ The diet starts Monday!”
I want to say this as lovingly as possible, nobody wants to hear about your diet. Other people who have disordered eating habits will want to engage in this conversation but even then these conversations lead to feeling insecure about yourself. You don’t have to have to plan on restricting later to have a right to eat what you want and what feels good. Dieting ultimately leads to weight gain in 95 percent of people by two years after the completion of the diet. Talking about dieting, encouraging others to diet, and dieting yourself aren’t the way to go.
“I’m so bad for eating this”
Implying that you are” bad” for eating something places morals on food. Food is neither good nor bad. What you eat doesn’t change your worth, and you shouldn’t feel guilty for eating regardless of what it is. Saying comments like this also makes other people feel guilty for eating the same thing. I encourage people not to say anything about the nutritional value of food or why they aren’t eating a certain food group. Eating intuitively and listening to your body is the best approach.
“Ugh, I’m so fat!”
Just like I encourage you to not comment on other people’s bodies, don’t talk about your body either. Talking about how fat or disgusting you are sending messages to those around you that maybe there is something wrong with their bodies. When you talk about your body in a negative way people may also wonder what you are negatively thinking about their body. It doesn’t matter how underwhelmed or uncomfortable I am in my own body, I’m not going to say negative things about my body out loud to other people. All bodies are good bodies. We all come in different shapes and sizes and we aren’t meant to fit into one mold. Please don’t speak negatively about your body.
“I’ll have to work this off later.”
When you make comments about having to exercise in regard to what you are eating, you are implying that you need to be punished. Your body needs food, and you don’t have to use compensatory behaviors later to feel ok about that. We exercise our bodies in ways that feel good and help our overall health. It’s not a healthy behavior to exercise to try and “work off” food that you’ve eaten. If you are trying to be healthy, this isn’t the way to do it. These comments are also encouraging others to feel guilty for what they’ve eaten too.
Disordered eating therapy can help you improve your relationship with food and your body
If you are struggling with how you feel about yourself and have a bad relationship with food, going to therapy can help. If you find yourself caught up in feeling guilty for what you eat, get stuck in the cycle of dieting and restricting, and view exercise as punitive, counseling can be helpful. When you look in the mirror and you feel disgusted and hateful about your body, it’s a sign that therapy can help you work on your body image. You don’t have to keep feeling anxiety about what you eat or believe you are undeserving of what you eat. You can feel better about yourself by working with an eating disorder therapist.
Start working with an eating disorder therapist in Utah
You don’t have to keep hating your body, and feeling anxious about food, and you don’t have to punish yourself. You can feel comfortable with your body and find food freedom. Working with an eating disorder therapist can help. This Utah Counseling Practice has an eating disorder therapist specializing in disordered eating. To begin counseling follow the steps below:
Meet with a disordered eating therapist
Begin disordered eating therapy
Online eating disorder therapy in Utah
It’s important to find a therapist who specializes in eating disorders and disordered eating. This requires specialized training and many cities in Utah don’t have access to a therapist who has this training. This is why I offer online therapy in Utah. I am able to work with clients struggling with their relationships all over the state. Online counseling is just as effective as in-person therapy but you don’t have to travel.
Online therapy means I work with clients in Salt Lake City, Cedar City, St. George, Logan, Heber City, Provo, and more.
Other mental health services at Maple Canyon Therapy
Disordered eating therapy isn’t the only therapy offered at this Utah Counseling Practice. Other mental health services provided by Maple Canyon Therapy include anxiety therapy, EMDR therapy, body image therapy, therapy for college students, therapy for birth trauma, and binge eating disorder treatment in Utah. Schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation to see how I can help!
About the Author
Ashlee Hunt is an eating disorder therapist and founder of Maple Canyon Therapy in Utah. Ashlee has a master's degree in social work from Utah State University. She has two bachelor's degrees from Southern Utah University in psychology and family life and human development. Ashlee has worked with women with eating disorders from the beginning of her therapy career. She has worked a an eating disorder psychiatric hospital providing individual and group therapy to patients with eating disorders at all levels of care. Ashlee loves helping women heal their relationships with food and to feel more comfortable in their own skin.