You and I have talked about before how it seems like warmer weather brings on bad body image. For some people, it is easier to hide in layers of clothing that are cozy and comfortable, and when the weather warms up, the layers have to be shed. The women I work with often want to hide their bodies and when temperatures spike it feels like they have no choice but to expose more of themselves than they want to. I get it. I imagine it’s difficult to be in this struggle and in your own skin. There’s nothing wrong with you for feeling the way you do.
Body image issues are a struggle for the majority of women. It’s a sad truth, and I wish it weren’t that way, but it is. It’s hard not to struggle with body image when we live in a world that is obsessed with women’s bodies being thin, sculpted, and beautiful. I’m sure you have your own experiences personally where perhaps someone in your life made comments about your body and appearance that made you realize you should be worried about what you look like. These are challenging experiences to let go of. Much of the media that we experience is filtered images of women that don’t even look the way we think they do.
Dealing with body image issues is hard
We also don’t have many people out there preaching body positivity and radical acceptance of your body. It’s still an unpopular movement to think of all bodies as good bodies that don’t need to be altered or shrunk. Unfortunately, many women attempt to improve their body image by losing weight or changing their image. You may be surprised to know that body image is contingent upon your weight, the size of your jeans, or the color of your hair. Changing all of that isn’t going to make a long-term difference in how you feel about your body. There are other ways to manage body image.
Before I give you some tips on how to cope with your body image, I want to tell you that you don’t have to feel guilty or stupid because you don’t like your body. I know when we open up about how we think about our appearance, loved ones might dismiss these emotions or even make us feel bad for feeling that way. You don’t need to feel embarrassed or ashamed because this is your struggle. You are already struggling enough and don’t need to feel worse. Let’s talk about what might help you feel better.
Ways to cope with body image issues:
There are ways to help you deal with body image issues and not have to think about what your body looks like all the time. Here are some suggestions on ways to cope with body image:
Stop looking in the mirror
Be honest with yourself about how long you are spending looking at yourself in the mirror, checking your appearance, or making sure your clothes aren’t showing too much. There is no moral value in you using a mirror at all BUT there’s a good chance that you are feeling terrible about yourself the more you body check in the mirror. It’s fine to use a mirror but I would certainly work on decreasing how many times you are checking out your appearance in the mirror. Believe it or not, the act of checking yourself out over and over in the mirror increases feelings of depression and anxiety.
Reexamine who you follow on social media
Social media is great for connecting with other people and maintaining and building relationships. It opens up more opportunities to have connections regardless of physical distance. It can be a wonderful tool and support for people. It can also be a downfall. If you are following people that are body-focused regardless of their body size, people that are counting their macros or are on a “health” journey, it will likely lead to you thinking more about your body and what you eat then is probably helpful. I would urge you to pay attention to the accounts you are following and notice how you are feeling after scrolling. It’s ok to mute and unfollow anyone who makes you feel negative about yourself, and in fact, I would encourage you to do just that.
Dress comfortably and get rid of clothes that don’t fit
This may seem to be pretty obvious but the way you dress matters. If you are constantly wearing clothes that are too big or too small, it’s going to keep you focused on your body size. You absolutely do not deserve to be or feel uncomfortable in your clothes. That may mean getting a different size of clothes. You might have unspoken rules in your head about what your size is allowed to be or you may feel anxiety about changing sizes, I want you to know it’s normal, and it’s ok. When you get the courage to do it, I would recommend getting rid of the clothes that don’t fit you anymore that have been hanging in your closet for “one day”. Take someone you trust shopping with you and let them pick the sizes for you so you don’t have to see them. Finding clothes that fit you properly is important when coping with a negative body image.
Practice gratitude for your body
I tell all of my clients who are struggling with their body image that my goal is not to get them to love every part of their bodies. My goal is to get you to have respect and gratitude for your body. I want you to be able to move to a place of acceptance of what your body is rather than trying to get your approval of it. I don’t expect you to hold any body-love rallies, but I want you to think about your appearance much less than you are now. One of the tools to do this is finding things you are grateful for about your body. As they say, “Your body is an instrument, not an ornament”. Focusing less on what it looks like and more so on what allows you to do can help you feel more positively about your body.
Body-image therapy can help
Using coping skills might not cure your bad body image, so don’t beat yourself up if you still struggle at times. These are tools to help you cope with how you feel about your body and to work towards having a more positive relationship with yourself. Therapy is a critical tool in helping you really dig in and rewrite the story of what you tell yourself about your body. Therapy is also an important step in healing from the past messages you’ve been given about yourself and your body. It’s important to address the underlying issues that have contributed to an emphasis on your body and help you develop a healthier view of yourself.
Trauma, comments made by others, and early childhood experiences contribute to developing a negative view of your body. It might seem like something you should be able to shake off, but our brains aren’t wired that way. Many women feel embarrassed that they care about something as “stupid” as what their body looks like. They have shared that they’ve tried to talk about it with other people and it has been minimized or they have been reassured that they look good, an dthere’s nothing wrong with their bodies. They begin to wonder if something is wrong with them because the words of their loved ones fall flat. The truth is nobody is going to be able to persuade your or convince you with words that your body is ok. The most important part of healing is you learn to accept yourself and your body for what it is.
Body image therapy is not just learning coping skills, but it’s actually learning to find healing from the comments people have made about your body that have been painful. Body image therapy is learning to respect your body and treat it with kindness. It doesn’t mean you’re always going to be stoked to look in the mirror or you’re going to love what you look like. The most important thing you can learn is how to show gratitude and kindness regardless of how you feel about your appearance. The overall goal is to feel better about yourself, which you can expect to focus on in therapy.
Start working with a body image therapist near Provo, Utah
You don’t have to keep hating your body forever. Therapy can help you stop the war you have with your body. This Provo Utah Area Counseling Clinic has a body image therapist that can help! To begin body image therapy, follow the steps below:
Schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation with Ashlee Hunt
Complete online forms and book the first session with a mental health expert
Begin body image therapy
Other mental Health Services Provided by Maple Canyon Therapy
Body image therapy isn’t the only service I provide at this Utah County Counseling Clinic. Other mental health services provided by Maple Canyon Therapy Services include anxiety treatment, EMDR and Trauma Therapy, Eating Disorder Therapy, birth trauma therapy, and binge eating disorder treatment in Utah.
All services are available through online therapy in Utah. This means if you are located in St. George, Cedar City, Logan, or Heber City, I can still help you.
About the Author
Ashlee Hunt is a licensed clinical social worker and owner of Maple Canyon Therapy Services in Spanish fork, Utah. Ashlee holds a bachelor’s degree in psychology, a bachelor’s degree in family life and human development from Southern Utah University, and a masters in social work from Utah State University. She has worked with women with eating disorders and body image issues since she was a graduate student. Ashlee is passionate about working with women who are committed to developing a healthier view of themselves, food, and their bodies.
