There’s been something on my mind that feels worth sharing with you. I wanted to address something that comes up here in Utah for probably many therapists. It’s the role of religion in therapy. Maybe one of the most common questions I get in phone consultations is: “Are you LDS?” and if it doesn’t happen in the phone consultation, it will come up at some point in session. I want to give you my thoughts on that question.
A good therapist doesn’t impose their values on their client
The first time it happened it took me off guard. Everything I had learned in graduate school taught me that good therapist does not let their own values conflict with the work they do in therapy with their clients. What do my spiritual or religious beliefs have to do with my work as a therapist? I had also learned that religion and spirituality are only a focus when the client brings it up as a topic or goal.
I realized that is not the experience for everyone.
Before I continue further, I want to make sure you know that I truly believe everyone is doing the best they can. We
can’t fully know what’s going on for someone or their intentions behind doing the things they do or say. It’s also true that despite people coming from a place of good intentions, people still get hurt by good intentions.
When clients don’t want an LDS therapist
The clients that don’t want an LDS therapist, have shared with me that working with an LDS therapist in the past, religion became too strong of a theme in therapy. They didn’t feel comfortable with this direction. They didn’t feel safe exploring or sharing things that may conflict with LDS values. They may have left feeling even greater shame because themes of faith, prayer, and scripture study brought more internal conflict These clients don’t want to repeat this experience. They don’t want a therapist that they feel is going to impose their values and beliefs. They also don’t want to have therapy to be one more place where they feel they don’t belong. Who can blame them? These people may have also had a negative experiences with church leaders and even by God. Therapy is meant to feel safe and directed entirely at what the client wants to focus on.
When clients want an LDS therapist
The clients I have worked with that really want an LDS therapist really want to feel understood. They want to feel that the therapist understands and has references for all the LDS lingo. I have found these clients don’t want to come to a therapist that is going to try and talk them out of their religious beliefs. These beliefs are so personal and valuable to them. They want to come to therapy to work on improving to become a better person, to have better relationships, and not to have someone speak negatively about their religion. This is incredibly valid. Therapy is already a risk to be vulnerable, and they are searching for a place where they don’t have to worry about being questioned for what they believe.
You are safe with me regardless of your spiritual beliefs
Rather than answering the question of what my spiritual or religious beliefs are or will be, I want you to know you’re safe with me. You will not find me ever imposing these sorts of values on you. I do my own work to keep myself in check to make sure my experiences do not contaminate your therapy experience.
If you want to talk about your beliefs and religious values, I absolutely want you to talk about them. I want you to feel secure in knowing what you believe isn’t going to be mocked by me. I want you to find a way to live your values more fully and effectively.
If you want to talk about the hurt you feel from religion and God, I hope you’ll talk about it. This is important in your healing. I don’t want you ever to have these experiences invalidated or for you to walk away with more shame. You feeling better is my ultimate goal.
I would encourage you to take this opportunity to challenge yourself on what you specifically need from a therapist regarding spirituality and what you don’t need. Those are essential in determining if it’s a good fit for therapy.
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