As a therapist, I have spoken to people that tell me “Um therapy doesn’t work". The most common people that tell me that are actually people that have never been to therapy. Sorry to put you on blast ;). However, there are other people that have been to a therapist with high hopes of feeling better and working through some things, and it just didn’t work. I don’t want people to have that experience. Going to therapy is such a personal experience and such a big risk to take. I want it to be a good experience so I have come up with some of the reasons why therapy hasn’t worked. Check it out!
1. Your relationship with your therapist is off.
One of the most essential ingredients for the magic of therapy to work is your relationship with your therapist. Above all else, that is the secret sauce. Research states that up to 70 percent of the reason why people get better and improve regardless of what their presenting problem is, is how comfortable, safe, and open you feel like you can be with your therapist. If therapy isn’t working for you, the first step is to check out your relationship with your therapist. As a therapist, I am always appreciative of feedback from those I work with about what is working and what isn’t. This is about you and your needs and lets your therapist know what you like and don’t like. Many of those I work with want to be the perfect client and don’t want to say anything. Please speak up. We want to help but don’t always know what will work best for you without you telling us.
2. The therapist doesn’t have the training or specialty you need.
When you are struggling with anxiety and are looking to find relief from anxiety symptoms, make sure you have an anxiety therapist with that training and specialty. We are each passionate about different things, and we each have a specific thing we are good at treating in therapy. Ensure your therapist has the training and experience necessary to help you with your anxiety. Therapists have the opportunity to have more training and education as that part of keeping their license. We are all learning and improving just as you are working to improve your life but you also have the right to a therapist that knows your problem and how to help really well.
3. You aren’t quite ready to work through things in therapy.
Honestly, the majority of those that I work with aren’t coming in my door, absolutely enthusiastic about looking at painful things in their lives. They know that something is off, and they need help but that doesn’t mean they want to rip the bandaid off and dig in just yet. They just know they are anxious and want to feel better. Make sure you understand THAT IS TOTALLY OK! It’s expected, and it’s part of our job to help you navigate through it. We are here to help you make progress to get to that point and help you. In the end, if you aren’t ready, then you aren’t ready. I would like to be a magician and change that for you but as therapists, we aren’t THAT special, unfortunately :). Sometimes taking a break from therapy for a while can be helpful if you are feeling stuck.
4. You aren’t clear on what your therapy goals are.
Another important aspect of therapy is that both you and your therapist know what you are working toward. Otherwise, we are both wandering aimlessly through therapy, and that certainly isn’t the best use of your time and money. Make sure that you are actually clear about what you are wanting out of therapy. Some people just want someone to listen and validate because they don’t get that in other places while other people want some skills and perspective on their problem. There is no right answer but in order for therapy to be the most helpful you need to know what you want out of the process. Sometimes I think my clients want one thing but they have actually been hoping for something else. I do my best work when I know what your hopes and dreams are out of the process.
5. You haven’t been applying what you’ve discussed.
Usually, a part of therapy is trying new things in order to help you with your problem. I often give clients books to read, podcasts to listen to, skills to try, recommendations to see additional professionals, and other assignments to try. I only get to see my clients for one hour of the many hours of the week and doing these other things in between our sessions can be pretty crucial. If you haven’t been applying some of those things your therapist has suggested, that may be another place to start to make therapy more useful. Your ability to practice coping skills for anxiety outside of your one-hour session a week is important to your success.
6. You aren’t seeing an actual therapist.
Make sure the person you are seeing is actually a therapist and has a license to practice. We have a lot of coaching services out there and even some therapists also practice as coaches. It can be confusing and easy to get lost in the process. Coaches have their purpose in effectively helping people. Some coaches have lived experience with anxiety but no disrespect, but this isn’t enough to treat anxiety.
Therapists have specialized training in using researched treatment models to help you with your problems. I know therapists that use coaches to help their clients between sessions, which is great. However, you might wanna make sure the person you are seeing is a licensed mental health professional.
Looking for an anxiety therapist in Utah?
You don’t have to live with anxiety. I know if you’ve had a bad past experience in therapy you might be hesitant to try again. I assure you that this Provo Area Counseling Practice has an anxiety therapist that can help! To begin therapy, follow the steps below:
Meet with an anxiety specialist
Begin feeling better
Online Therapy in Utah
If you struggle with anxiousness, I get that thinking about finding a therapist’s office seems super scary. I know it’s difficult to reach out for help when you have anxiety. This is why I provide Online Therapy in Utah, so you don’t have to leave the comfort of your house. You can stay in your sweatpants and meet with an online anxiety therapist.
Online Counseling allows me to work with clients in Logan, Salt Lake City, Heber, Cedar City, St. George, and more.
Other mental health services near Provo, Utah
Anxiety treatment isn’t the only counseling service provided at this Utah County Counseling Clinic. Other mental health services provided by Maple Canyon Therapy include EMDR therapy, therapy for birth trauma, eating disorder treatment, body image therapy, and binge eating disorder treatment in Utah.
About the Author
Ashlee Hunt is a licensed clinical social worker and Maple Canyon Therapy founder outside Provo, Utah. Ashlee has two bachelor’s degrees from Southern Utah University. One degree in psychology and another in family life and human development. Ashlee obtained her master’s in social work from Utah State University. Ashlee loves working with women who struggle with anxiety and helping them let go of needing to be seen as having it all together. She utilizes a person-centered, humanistic approach in working with clients. When Ashlee isn’t doing therapy, she enjoys swimming at the Clyde Recreation Center in Springville.